


karen and the flat earth

by nooneleftilove



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, idk man, if I keep writin this I’m gonna give Regina a redemption arc because I love her, its late and i can’t stop thinking about this, this is also the first thing ive ever written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-05-29 07:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15068246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nooneleftilove/pseuds/nooneleftilove
Summary: post spring-fling.Karen and Janis share a brief bonding moment over confusion and conspiracy theories.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea that I kept knocking around my head, and I’m by no means a writer, but I needed this idea out of my head and put somewhere physical, hope somebody likes it!

Janis Sarkisian was no stranger to conspiracy theories, to say the least. She and Damian would spend many a night up late in her basement turned art studio on that side of YouTube. It would be an understatement to say that she was familiar with the ‘flat earth’ theory. Janis wasn’t an irrational person, but she could have a good laugh at the memes, and sometimes when it got real late she could almost rationalize the idea of the earth being flat, with her whole “trust nobody” mantra. Damian and her would discuss the legitimacy of it sometimes, but aside from that, Janis had never really had a conversation about it before.

* * *

 

After Cady’s big speech at the Spring Fling, everybody seemed to mingle more, Janis included (after she and Cady exchanged apologies, that is) and that is how Janis found herself at the punch bowl with Karen Smith. She made no attempt at conversation, but noticed Karen looking intently at the gym floor as if she was trying to figure something out.

“If the Earth is round then how come our shoes are and the ground and like desks and stuff are flat?” Karen asks, as she turned her head from the floor to Janis, who responded with a loud chuckle.

“What?” Janis looked at Karen to ensure that it was a serious question, and based on the puzzled look on the face of the latter, it was. “Oh my God, what?”

“No seriously, how does that work?” Karen inquired again, as she looked around trying to piece together how it all could work. For a split second, Janis could have sworn she turned into the confusion meme with all the math equations around the lady’s head.

Janis racked her brain for any response that would make sense to Karen, but that seemed to be futile. After not more than a second, her face lights up in a bright, goofy smile. “Maybe it’s the Russians...” That only made Karen more confused, it would appear.

“What does how fast they’re moving have to do with anything?” Her eyebrows were furrowed and her nose is scrunched up, which draws another laugh from Janis.

“That’s not what I-“ Janis is cut off by Damian waving to her across the dance floor, surely to point out some medicore man-candy. “I gotta go, but...” she reached out and pokes Karen’s nose, “Have fun! Don’t think too hard and hurt that pretty little head.”

As she walked away with a wink, the ex-plastic stood in the same spot, as confused as ever, for too long than any normal human would before shrugging and prancing off to find Regina.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shenanigans continue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somebody very nice (Mrs_Angie_Carter) left a nice comment on the first chapter and it felt nice and now i want to add another one because why not \\_(ツ)_/¯ ... also if you’re reading this bless you, you made me very happy ? anyway ...

“Regina, Janis said that the Russians might be the reason that the Earth could be round but it should be flat and I just want to know why how fast a person is going can do that.” 

Karen appeared dumb as a sack of rocks on the outside, but her lack of intelligence could be made up for in curiosity. Any person in the general vicinity could see how excited she was to, _hopefully_ , get an answer to a ridiculous question judging by the fact that she was literally bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Her actions were an interesting juxtaposition to Regina, who had turned stiffly in her restrictive spinal halo to look at Karen.

Normally, a snarky response would have seeped from Regina’s lips without hesitation, but between the pain killers, and utter preposterous nature of the question, the only thing that happened was a raise of an eyebrow. “Huh? Why was Janis talking to you about Russians? Also that’s not what Russian means...” 

Now, it was Karen’s turn to look confused. “No silly, she didn’t just like come up to me and _start_ talking about Russians, I asked her about why all the stuff that touches the ground is flat if the world is round,” she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Regina glances across the room to find Janis, who was doing some awfully dorky dance with Damian, with her arms raised above her head, spinning around in a manner which could be described as blender-esque. She then looks back at Karen, then Janis again, in a fruitless effort to find the connection. “Karen,” her name was drawn out due to the nature of the pain killers, “why did that become your point of conversation?” 

Karen gives Regina a _duh_ look before opening her mouth. “I was curious and she was standing there so I asked...” she raises her hand to shield her mouth, and stage whispers, “she said I was pretty!” The statement was punctuated by a giggle, not mean, but genuinely, sincerely, happy. “I don’t know why we didn’t like her, Regina. She’s really nice, even if she’s kinda weird and I didn’t understand what she was talking about.” 

“It’s because I was a mean and stupid middle school girl who thought drama was fun,” Regina says, flat and plain. Her mind was full of building guilt, which she would take up with Janis herself later. “I’m glad you guys talked.” It sounded more like a question than an actual comment, but that didn’t phase Karen. 

“She didn’t act like I was stupid either!” Karen’s face lit up as she said this, which made Regina feel another pang of guilt. “I still don’t know what she mean but,” she shrugs. “That happens.” 

“Karen you aren’t stupid you’re just,” Regina pauses for a second, looking for a word that would be the least offensive, “obeservant and different. You’re not what people would consider conventionally intelligent, but that never stops you.” Once again, the magic of the truth-telling pain meds strike. “And if you want to be her friend, I’m totally behind it. You’re like, your own person, and I’m kind of done controlling people. Plus, you’re right, she is pretty cool.” 

Karen nods before holding her hands out, as of the whole conversation had been forgotten. “Can we dance? I’d really like to dance.” For the rest of the night, they did, as awkward as it may have been. The future of Northshore looked bright, and every student in that gym could feel it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> give karen another friend 2k18
> 
> also tune in next time I feel like updating this for Karen and Janis to Truly Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love Barrett Wibert Weed anyhow ... Also I only know how to write like short stuff so this is gonna be a long fic

As the spring fling came to a close, Janis once again found herself in a conversation with Karen. 

“Hey, so Gretchen is having a party and I really want to know what you were talking about with the Russian stuff. You should totally come!” Karen gives Janis a bright, sincere smile. 

Damian, who was standing with Janis gives them both a look before cutting in. “I need to talk to Janis for a minute... Gay meeting!” He gently tugs Janis away by the back of her jacket. “Honey, are you on crack? Just because Cady gave her whole speech about how we’re all amazing and blah, blah doesn’t mean The Plastics are just gonna be your besties,” he states plainly, giving her a pointed look. 

Janis turns her head around to look at Karen who is twirling her hair around her finger and looking up at the sky like a dito, then back at Damian. “Okay, yeah, but I’ve been there. Regina’s kind of a raging shitstreak and I’m sure Karen could use some friends. Plus, they’ll probably be free food and I’m always down for free food!” she taps her fingers together like an evil mastermind. “Plus-“ Janis is cut off by an out of breath Cady running up beside her. 

“Gretchen is having a party and I know you guys aren’t really into that but I’ve missed you and-“ Her rambling is cut off by Damian gesturing behind them to Karen. 

“We know. Princess Phonetics asked Janis to come, too.” He places one hand on both girls’ shoulders and nods toward Karen. 

“So you’re going right?” Cady asks gleefully, looking up at both of them. They both roll their eyes and mumble a _yes. “_ Also, maybe tell Karen that because she’s still standing there. See you soon!” Cady bolts off as quickly as she appeared, leaving Northshore’s resident gays alone. 

“Well go tell her! She’ll stand there all night if you don’t,” Damian pushes Janis back toward Karen, who waves at the two in return. 

“So...” Karen drawls, grabbing Janis by the hands. “Are you coming or not? I’m still really confused about the Russians and the Earth and stuff!” As she speaks, she pulls her arms back and forth, forcing Janis into a shimmy of sorts. 

“Um, yeah. We’re coming, but we might not stay too long because I don’t have a good track record with parties.” She finds herself swept up into a hug, and makes a noise of surprise, causing Damian to laugh. 

“Yay! We’re gonna have so much fun! Caucasian grandma emoji!” Karen releases Janis, who stumbles a bit. “Do you need the address?” 

“No,” she pauses. “I got it.” And with that Karen was off, leaving Janis and Damian alone again. 

“I don’t think she heard the part about you not doing parties,” Damian cackles. “Also,” his voice changes into a more serious tone, “if there’s not free food, I’m murdering you and burying you in that blasphemy of a green jacket you love so much,” he teases. Damian grabs her hand and drags her away to his grandma’s electric scooter. As they pull off for the party, he can already see the palpable dread on the girl’s face. 

* * *

 

Seeing as geriatric electric wheelchairs have never set any land speed records, the party is well underway when the two arrive. There are plenty of cars in the driveway, not including Regina’s - due to the whole spinal halo thing, her mom had to drive her everywhere - but Janis was sure the Queen Bee would be there. 

As they walk up to the porch, the sound of top forty pop literally vibrates the house on its frame. “Damian, I think we’ve entered hell,” Janis says, reaching her hand out to turn the doorknob. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harold, they're lesbians!
> 
> also google a tarsier its funny and you need to know what they look like for the context of one (1) line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my friend send me a video of him with gianna and he got me a signed playbill, so im running on pure adrenaline!!!!

The loud music only became louder once Janis and Damian entered the house. The crowd was pretty mixed, the obvious cool people were there, but so were the mathletes, and a couple of people that only hours before expected hell to freeze over before getting invited to a Plastic party. Janis still wasn't convinced that school peace could be achieved by breaking a plastic tiara, so she warily grabbed Damian's hand and found two empty seats on a _rather expensive looking_ couch. "If we don't see Karen in fifteen minutes we're legally allowed to leave," Janis jokes in a deadpan voice, scanning the crowd for Cady, or Karen - whoever she saw first.

Damian rolled his neck to allow himself to look at her. "You know, we didn't have to come. You _said_ you wanted to come for free food, but I'm starting to think that might not be it, hunty," he tapped her on the side of the head "I think you have a thing for Karen." He teasingly shimmied his shoulders, "A big, gay thing for-"

Janis promptly cut him off by slapping her hand over his mouth. "No, I don't," she claims indignantly. "I have been where she was and I understand how hard it sucks because you can literally only socialize with each other or the boys that she deems acceptable. And with as, um, _different-minded_ as Karen is, I'm sure Regina would give her hell, constantly. Plus, even if I did, she's gotta be straight because Regina would probably turn her into a blonde taxidermy piece if she wasn't." She then her hand away for Damian to respond, even though he was mid-eyeroll.

"Janis, I love you dearly, but Regina got hit by a bus. I know somewhere deep, deep, _deep_ in here," Damian tapped on her chest, "You know she didn't deserve it, and that maybe you should cut her some slack. And while I live for the drama, she seems a lot softer now, and you really need to let all that shit go." Janis opened her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off, "I'm not saying forgive her and pretend that nothing happened and go back to being best friends forever, because that's my job, but like, find peace." 

It was then Janis' turn to roll her eyes. "Thank you, Gandhi." 

Soon after, the two fell into a casual conversation, which was interrupted when they got up to dance with Cady and her _boyfriend,_ Aaron. They knew that they were dating because Cady managed to mention it once every two minutes, if the math Janis did in her mind was right. Janis would never have said it aloud, but that moment felt so nice, so normal; almost like the past few years of her life had never happened. Janis was right, and there was food, which she and Damian would snack on when the four would take a break from dancing. That went on for what felt like forever, but not in a bad way, and then a slightly intoxicated Karen basically appeared out of nowhere beside Janis.

"Can I dance with you guys?" She asked, cheeks pink from the alcohol coursing through her body. They all agree, but it was less of Karen dancing with them, and more like Karen dancing with Janis, whose eyes were bugging out of her head, much like a tarsier, if said tarsier was on crack. Damian gave her a quick wink, before slyly pushing the two closer together- like a robust, gay cupid.

They tumbled, and Janis almost fell, but somehow -despite her lack of sobriety- Karen caught her. Janis pulled back quickly, and gave Karen an awkward wave. "Hey," Karen drawled in response. She then reached out and placed her hands on Janis' shoulders, which then forced Janis into swaying along with the beat of what sounded like Taylor Swift. It wasn't awful, in the slightest, but Janis had no clue what to do with her hands, and she settled on putting them on Karen's hips because that was how Aaron and Cady were. She heard Damian let out a chuckle, and turned her head back and gave him a nasty look, which he responded to with a shrug. Janis had her attention quickly return to Karen again, when the she moved a hand from her shoulder to twist a lock of Janis' hair around her finger -another laugh from Damian. Janis was paralyzed, like any god-fearing lesbian would be if a pretty girl touched their hair. "Your hair, is like super soft. Like, softer than it looks," Karen said.

Janis then blushed deeply, and stuttered out "Uh, thanks..." in response. Said blush did not go unnoticed, but not as a flush of embarrassment or flattery, but as a reaction to the heat created by a room full of sweaty teens. "Do you want to go upstairs? You look like you're hot and there's like, nobody up there. Crystal ball emoji, corn emoji." It was not a question, as Janis found herself being pulled upstairs by Karen, who had grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the group. 

* * *

 

They sit down on the edge of a bed in one of the guest rooms not being occupied by couples making out. Karen still had Janis' hand in her own, but to Janis, that was something straight girls did, so she didn't question it. However, her palms were grotesquely sweaty, so she pulled her hand out of Karen's and rubbed them both on her lap. She looked around at everything but Karen, as if she was suddenly fascinated by olive green walls and the great intricacies of popcorn ceilings. She is distracted by her thoughts, _or lack thereof_ , by a tap on her shoulder. "Feel better now?" Karen asked.

Janis wanted to say that heat rises, so realistically going upstairs wasn't exactly the best plan, but obviously she couldn't muster that response, so she nods. "Yeah, thanks." She removes her suit jacket, which she had been wearing all night, since she felt like she was going to sweat herself into oblivion. "The Russians thing was a joke by the way. It's a thing me and Damian joke about since that thing happened with Trump."

Karen nodded, but her face betrayed the fact that she was still totally lost. Her hand once again went to Janis' hair, and in that moment Janis could have sworn that when her soul exited her body, she saw God. For the record, God looked like Laverne Cox. "You're pretty. I don't know why Regina kept making fun of you because you're gay or whatever. Gay means happy, why was she mad you're happy?" Karen had an eyebrow quirked up, and Janis had to take a moment to calculate her response.

"No, I'm not gay like _happy_ gay. I'm gay like, _lesbian_ gay." Janis gestured to herself. "Like, I like girls." She gulped, and waited for Karen to finish her face journey and respond.

"Oh," she frowns for a second, then continues. "Okay. Girls are pretty, and so are boys. Flowers, too." 

Janis once again saw Laverne Cox God, before returning to the conversation. "Yeah. But, I just like girls. Strictly female... Gay, gay, gay.." She trailed off, once again returning her attention to the ceiling. Karen took that opportunity to stand up and in front of Janis, forcing her to make eye contact again. "Did I mention you're _really_ pretty? Like if I was gonna be with a girl, it could totally be you. Light house emoji." Before Janis could stop herself, they were both leaning closer.

"Holy shit!" They are both shaken from the almost romantic moment by the door being thrown open by none other than Regina. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> janis has one fear and that fear is Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would apologize for the cliffhanger but i’m not sorry

Janis grabbed her blazer and scrambles to the farthest corner of her room, ready to go on the defensive. Karen took one look between the two and sits on the bed, oblivious to the fear that Janis felt. “Hi Regina!” Karen said with a wave. 

Janis, on the other hand, mustered the little courage she had in terms of facing Regina and managed to speak. “Learn to knock, will you?” It was meant to sound aggressive and full of venom, but when her voice wavered, it sounded very fearful. Her hands shook, and she tried to hide it crossing her arms across her chest. 

Regina rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “Chill out, Janis. I came upstairs because my pain meds wore off and I needed somewhere to sit and not be in a swamp of people. I’m not gonna, like, toss you out a window or something.” Her voice was flat, and though she seemed to mean it, Janis was still terrified. “Hey, Karen, can you go downstairs and grab my purse? I forgot it.” It was an obvious lie, but Karen nodded and started to stand. Janis opened her mouth to protest, but Karen was already out the door. 

Regina shut the door and awkwardly positioned herself on the bed, which offered some relief to her pain. Janis stood firm in her position, and eyed Regina like at any minute she would attack. “Can’t believe you were about to kiss Karen,” the blonde mumbled in an effort to break the tension. 

“Get bent, Regina. I’m sorry you got hit by a bus but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you literally ruined my life. It also doesn’t excuse the way you make Karen feel like an idiot, by the way -everybody notices that anytime they treat her with decency she lights up like it never happened before. Or for the way you screwed Gretchen over. She constantly is up your ass because she’s afraid if she isn’t you’re gonna tear her a new one. I’m sorry I made you gain a few pounds and lose a boy who could do so much better, but all things considered it could have been so much worse. So, if you’re gonna sit in that bed and call me a dyke or whatever go ahead, because I don’t care anymore.” Janis’ voice was more bold, but her hands still tremored as she stared Regina down. 

“You know, I deserved it, by the way,” Regina says. “Being hit by the bus... It doesn’t apologize for all the horrible shit I did and I totally understand if you want to hate me forever but I’m gonna try to change. It won’t make things better, and it won’t reverse what I’ve already done. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I really am.” She meekly folded her hands in her lap and looked at Janis for a response. 

A lump had formed in Janis’ throat, and it threaten to dissolve to tears in any moment. She threw on her blazer, looking for any excuse not to speak. Deep down, she felt that Regina was telling the truth, but she didn’t want to forgive and forget just like that. “Whatever.”

Janis felt a hot tear rolling down her face, and she bolts out the door. Regina tried to stop her, but she couldn’t hear over the ringing in her ears from a combination of anger, sadness and fear. She took the stairs two at a time, and just as she reached the bottom, Karen grabbed her by the wrist. “Where are you going?” she asked with a frown. Janis shook her head and pulled her wrist away. 

“Let me go.” She stormed away and pulled Damian away, leaving Karen at the base of the stairs absolutely shocked and in confusion. She heard Cady and Aaron calling after them, but ignored it. 

* * *

 

Once they were on the Jazzy, Janis hugged Damian’s back and let her tears silently fall. Damian spared a glance back, but ultimately decided that it was best to leave his friend alone. They pulled up to Janis’ house and Damian scooped her up in his arms and carries her inside.

“Who do I need to hurt?” He asks, looking down at her as he places her on the couch. Janis wiped her eyes and let out a weak laugh. 

“Honestly, nobody. I’m dumb and when Karen took me upstairs we were about to kiss and then Regina came in and I got super scared and she apologized to me and I was rude about it and as much as I want to believe her she ruined my _fucking_ life. Then when I was coming downstairs to get you Karen tried to talk to me and I yanked my arm out of her hand and she looked like a deer in headlights and she’s probably not gonna speak to me again,” Janis ended her rambling speech with a shrug. 

Damian gave her a sympathetic look and covers her with a blanket. “Oh dear.” He smoothed her hair out and kissed her forehead. “You need to sleep. That whole,” he waved his hand around, “mess has you all messed up. So, you’re gonna sleep and tomorrow we’re gonna handle this like the esteemed young people we are.” He places his hand on his heart. “You have my solemn promise.”

Janis wearily nodded the blanket up to her chin. “Okay. By the way, since I’ve ruined my own life you’re invited to run away with me and start anew as heterosexual farmers.” That warranted a laugh from Damian. As she fell asleep, she felt her phone buzz several times in her pocket. 

* * *

 

 _caddy_ : hey are you okay? 

 _caddy_ : janis?

 _caddy_ : i texted damian and he said not to worry about you but i am anyway <3

-

 _regina life-ruiner_ : Hey, I don’t know if you have my number saved but Karen is freaked about you running off like that and she wanted me to give her your number. I did. I really am sorry for the stuff I did in the past. -Regina 

 -

 _unknown number_ : this is karen

 _unknown number_ : regional told me this was janis so if it is pls txt me back 

unknown number: regina*

 _unknown number:_ is it bc i tried to kiss u? u said u were gay so i just thought it was ok. srry. 

 _unknown number_ : u rnt answering so i guess ur asleep. gn art girl! 

 _unknown number_ : pls answer in the mrning im confessed

 _unknown number_ : *confusion

 _unknown number_ : *confused

 _unknown number_ : <3 ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> consider this my apology for the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Plastics are seen as the top tier of the high school social pyramid, and to an outside eye looking at them at face value, that would appear to be the truth. But, when you look deeper, you notice that these girls don’t display typical HBIC behavior, and that they could be more of a group of misfits that took it too far. Gretchen suffers from anxiety and low self esteem. Karen isn’t what people would consider conventionally intelligent, and she had been taken advantage of by a boy she trusted. Former close friend of them, Janis isn’t straight, which would put her on the fringes on high school society. The only ‘normal’ one is Regina, but that doesn’t seem to fit the group dynamic. So what is Regina’s deal? In this essay I will-

Janis woke up to an achey neck from spending all night on a couch, and a bright green sticky note on her forehead. She pulls it off groggily and reads Damian’s neat, dainty handwriting, “ _Had to go home to help my mom remove a cat from our house. I don’t know how it got inside. Love ya, Gaymian._ ” She fondly rolled her eyes, imaging Damian and his mom chasing a cat armed with brooms and mops. Her attention moved next to her phone, which had more notifications from last night that she had ever had. Her first move was to add Karen to her contacts. She then moved on to the daunting task of anwering all her texts.

* * *

 

_caddy_ : hey are you okay? 

_caddy_ : janis?

_caddy_ : i texted damian and he said not to worry about you but i am anyway <3

_janis_ : yeah im ok, a lot happened last night. sorry if i freaked u out, missed ya loser :)

-

_regina life-ruiner_ : Hey, I don’t know if you have my number saved but Karen is freaked about you running off like that and she wanted me to give her your number. I did. I really am sorry for the stuff I did in the past. -Regina 

_janis_ : i still have your number saved bc im lazy. im not gonna be able to forgive you just like that but i guess ill try. 

_janis_ : also, karen texted me hella times. so, thanks???

  -

_karen_ : this is karen

_karen_ : regional told me this was janis so if it is pls txt me back 

_karen_ : regina*

_karen:_ is it bc i tried to kiss u? u said u were gay so i just thought it was ok. srry. 

_karen_ : u rnt answering so i guess ur asleep. gn art girl! 

_karen_ : pls answer in the mrning im confessed

_karen_ : *confusion

_karen_ : *confused

_karen_ : <3 ;)

_janis_ : hey karen. i didn’t leave last night because of you, i had a conversation with Regina and it honestly freaked me out and i needed to be out. if u want to hang out sometime let me kno, promise i won’t be so weird.

* * *

 

Of course, Karen answered immediately and told her that if she wanted, they could go to the mall together later. Janis didn’t really want to, but she felt like she owed it to Karen to hang out and redeem herself. That agreement however, opened her to another fear. If Karen had tried to kiss her, does that make the mall a date? 

After showering, Janis called Damian, who confirmed that it was _most likely_ a date. She had a minor crisis over her breakfast, in which she begged Damian to come back over and help her get ready. It was no surprise when fifteen minutes later, Damian waltzed into her house with both hands placed on his chest. “You’ve grown so fast, Janis. It feels like just yesterday you hardly knew what a date was, and now, here you are, about to go on a date with Karen!” He wiped a fake tear from his eye. “I’m so proud.” 

Janis stood up from her place perched on the kitchen counter and playfully slugged him on the shoulder. “You’re awful. Come upstairs with me before I decide to completely disown you,” she said and turned to head up to her room, Damian following quickly after. 

* * *

 

“Do you like her?” Damian asked with a teasing tone. He was laying on his stomach with his feet in the air and his chin cradled in his chin. 

In response, Janis scooped a dirty shirt off the floor and flung it at him, hoping it would distract from her flushed cheeks. “I mean, if we had actually kissed I probably wouldn’t have complained,” she shrugged, hoping the response came as casual as she wanted it to. 

He didn’t fall for it, and started humming _I Won’t Say I’m in Love._ Janis turned on her heels and gave Damian and death-glare. “Well, when you’re done being a show-queen, you can come help pick my outfit.” 

An hour, and much more teasing later, Janis was dressed. It wasn’t one of Damian’s suggestions, because in every outfit he put her in was “too preppy.” Damian was convinced Janis is just afraid of looking good.

Before she knew it, Damian pushed Janis by her shoulders, out the door, and onto the Jazzy to escort her to her date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also I’m sorry there isn’t much Karen/Janis content but I couldn’t find a way to make it flow into that but I got y’all next chapter <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gays finally go on a date <3

Janis found out as soon as the pair entered the mall that Karen had a sense for finding dogs. The blonde had just entered the door before stopping in her tracks and tugging Janis behind her with a grin. “There’s a dog in here!” she explains. 

Janis had no clue if that was a fact, or how Karen would even know, but sure enough when Karen haulted in front of the GameStop, just inside was a man and his service dog. “How did you know that there’d be a dog in this mall, at this exact store?” 

Karen shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I just like, _know_. It’s a gift.” 

All that Janis can do as a response is chuckle and nod. “You’re like a Disney princess, dude.” Only then did she realize they were still holding hands, which to her surprise made butterflies flutter in her stomach.

* * *

They ambled around the mall for an hour or two more before stopping at Starbucks, in which Janis learned another thing about Karen. As far as Janis knew, the pair had been walking together the whole time, but once their coffees had been made and they were situated at a table, Karen pulled a bag out of nowhere. “I got you an emoji,” Karen said, sliding the bag across the table to Janis. 

“You got me... an emoji?”

Karen nudged the bag an inch or so closer to Janis. “Yeah, I didn’t plan on buying it or anything but they had it and it reminded me of you!” 

Janis grabs the bag and removes a purple devil emoji from the bag with a confused but flattered grin. She places it in her lap and gingerly pats it. “Thanks, Karen.”

She takes this moment to assess themselves as if she were an outsider. Karen was sitting eagerly in a light blue romper, sipping a Frappuccino, appearing wholly content with her life. Then there was Janis, in chunky boots and fishnets, with one leg hiked up in her seat nonchalantly and a emoji pillow in tow.

”It reminded me of you because it looks all mean and tough, but really it’s all soft and I think that’s how you are.” Karen reached across the table to poke Janis’ cheek to prove a point. “And I think the reason that you dress and act all cool and rough is because you’re afraid of getting hurt and wanna put people off of trying to get close to you.”

And if she was honest, Janis couldn’t argue. She did find comfort in her outlandish garb, but it was also a defense mechanism. She did make herself seem unapproachable ever since the whole situation with Regina, but even then she still longed to be around people, which is why Cady sparked her interest. That is, until she turned around on, too. “That’s super insightful and cool. If you were an emoji you’d be the little fairy girl one.”

* * *

Another thing Janis learned about Karen is they both believed in aliens. Their reasoning couldn’t be more different, but they had an in depth conversation about it nonetheless. 

Janis’ reasons were rooted in a distrust of authority and a general existential dread. She was a firm nonbeliever of the moon landing, but believes after the initial claims, America finally made it to space because “ _The government is full of liars._ ” To follow that, she believed that if they concealed that and many other secrets (she could rant for days about the JFK assassination, or how FEMA is undercover for something much darker, or literally almost any historical conspiracy), then why would they be honest about aliens? Her belief? _They wouldn’t_. Plus, if the solar system is so big, who is she to say humans are the only ones out there. The vastness of it all both excited and terrified her, and she made that very clear as she animatedly spoke to Karen. 

Karen, on the other hand, wholeheartedly beloved that Gretchen had been abducted right in front of her. Janis didn’t question the story behind it, because who was she to judge? She also said that “ _There’s so many types of frogs in the world. There’s like big ones and little ones and ones that are poison and ones that you can eat and I don’t trust that..._ ” While Janis had never thought about that, it did almost make sense. 

The carried on back and forth like that and before they knew it, the date was over. Karen drove Janis back to her house, and they had another _almost-kinda_ kiss. Janis rode the whole time with one hand tentatively on Karen’s knee and only retracted it when they pulled into her driveway. They exchanged quick _thanks_ and “ _We should do this again_ ” and before Janis could open the door Karen had leaned across the console to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Janis’ ear. She felt herself blush, and averted her eyes in hopes that Karen wouldn’t notice.

”Hey, can I try to kiss you again? You said that it wasnt the problem the other day and I really wanted to,” Karen said with a pout.

Janis gulped and nodded as the pair closed the gap between them. She barely allowed their lips to touch before going full homosexual having a panic attack. 

“I’ll text you! Bye!” And like a flash, Janis was out of Karen’s car, leaving the other girl confused. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is my second time writing this chapter bc I’m A Fool but 
> 
> do the gays kiss? is Damian still the Sensible Gay? stay tuned.

“Damian, why did Karen just Snapchat me with like seven thumbs up emojis and that she’ll be over with pizza and that Caddy can ride with her?” 

Damian feigned innocence as he plopped down next to her on the couch. He glanced over her shoulder at her phone and pats her knee. “Oh, maybe it’s because _somebody_ ,” he gestured to himself, “asked her to come to movie night with you, Cady, and then a certain somebody. However, that person did not ask for her to bring pizza, which is an added bonus.” 

“You bitch!” Janis punched him in the shoulder and stared at him incredulously. The couple had begun to spend more time together, and Janis was still as awkward as ever around Karen, and they still hadn’t kissed. She was excited at the prospect of them hanging out in a group setting, but Damian sprung the plan on her without warning. “We can hardly fit the three of us on the couch, how are you planning on having me, you, Caddy, and Karen down there?” 

“My dear, I always have a plan. I have taken it upon myself to bring an air mattress for me and Caddy to cuddle on in the ultimate form of bi-woman and gay man solidarity. And depending on things go from there, we will fall in love and get married and have beautiful gay babies. That’ll leave you and Karen the whole couch to _yourselves_ ,”  he waggled his eyebrows and Janis gagged. 

“First of all, rude. I was supposed to be your sexuality changing wife and we were supposed to have one kid and three dogs and when you died of ‘ _mysterious circumstances_ ’ I was supposed to get all your money. And second of all, I hope you have a plan to blow your air mattress up by yourself because I will be having none of it,” she said, thumping the side of his head. 

* * *

Janis didn’t lie, either. Once Damian decided they should start setting up the basement, he followed him downstairs and took a seat on the couch. “Go ahead and so what you have to do,” she said, waving her hand in the air and kicking her feet up onto the arm of the couch. 

Damian pushed the coffee table out of the way, and inflated the air mattress, huffing at Janis as if it was the hardest thing ever. He disappeared upstairs and returned with piles of blankets and pillows and draped some over the back of the couch, then used the other ones to make a nest of sorts out of the air sack on the ground. He settled himself on the pile of pillows, and looked up at Janis, rather pleased with his work. “Perfect. And now we wait for our lovers to arrive.”

An hour or so later, the sound of the doorbell signified the arrival of Karen and Cady. Damian beat Janis to the door, and took them both into a big bear hug, appearing to whisper something to Cady, and taking the pizza from Karen’s hands. 

Janis also gave the pair a hug, before Karen took her by the hand. The trio of girls followed Damian to the basement, where he went in theatrics to explain how much _hard work_ was put into the set-up for the evening. 

“He’s being extra, he literally moved the table and blew up a mattress and carried some blankets down,” Janis said as she snatched the pizza box from him and took a slice. “Once everybody is done eating, we can start the movie,” she paused and rolled her eyes before continuing. “We’re going to watch Mary Poppins because Damian got to choose tonight and he’s tragically gay.” 

Karen and Cady were more than pleased with the movie choice, boosting Damian’s ego more than Janis cared to think. 

Being that they were a group of teenagers, the pizza was devoured in a matter of minutes, and the group was ready to start the movie. Damian placed his beloved Mary Poppins DVD into the player, and sprawled out on the air mattress, with Cady, who was cocooned in a blanket, resting her head on his chest. Karen and Janis were both on the couch, with Karen resting her head on Janis’ shoulder and playing with Janis’ hair absentmindedly. 

The movie was halfway through before Cady and Damian stood up, after pausing the movie. “Me and Caddy are gonna go make popcorn, we’ll be right back!” Damian winked and dragged Cady upstairs by her hand, leaving the couple alone. 

Janis and Karen turn to look at each other, and the latter looked a touch confused. “Why do you guys call Cady that?” 

“It’s just a thing we started when we first met her, and I guess it never stopped,” Janis said with a shrug, all of a sudden very aware of the fact that the pair were alone.

There was a brief moment of silence before she continued. “Damian and Caddy totally left so we could be alone and I really want to apologize for leaving you hanging everytime you tried to kiss me, but you make me crazy nervous because I’m big gay,” she paused again and looked down to wipe her sweaty palms on her legs. “So I think we should kiss now, before they come back and start planning our wedding.”

They both grinned shyly, and Karen moved her hands to Janis’ waist to pull her closer with a ditzy giggle. Janis felt soft lips meet her own, and quietly gasped. She’d been with girls and al that, but Karen was unbearably sweet and kind and took her time. Janis kissed back, but ultimately let Karen set the pace, enjoying the moment that had been building since the party at Gretchen’s house. 

They are interrupted by a squeal from the stairs, and when they turn their heads, they see Cady and Damian with glee written all over their faces. “Our babies have grown up so fast!” Damian exclaimed, going down the stairs two at a time. 

Janis groaned and buried her head in Karen’s shoulder, emanating embarrassment. Once Cady and Damian were back on the air mattress, Karen looked at them with a frown. “Me and Janis were totally just kissing and you embarrassed her, frown emoji, heart eye emoji, robot emoji,” she said, running a hand through Janis’ hair. 

Cady and Damian burst into laughter, only turning on the movie once they’d sufficiently calmed down. Only then did Janis emerge from Karen’s shoulder, encouraged by a kiss gingerly placed on the top of her head. 

All too soon, the family on the screen is flying kites and everything in their fictional life is perfect, and Karen and Cady had to go. Janis and Damian walked them to the car, and Karen found herself being the one being kissed. Janis pulled away too soon, and pulled open Karen’s car door for her. They said theid goodbyes and then a very whipped Janis watched her friend and girlfriend _(?)_ drive away. 


End file.
